Spring Training: Where’s Your Team?

February 15, 2011

With many teams’ pitchers and catchers reporting to spring training this week, there is a general mood of happiness and optimism in baseball. The slate from last year has been wiped clean, and all 30 teams have a shot at winning the pennant.

However, it is no secret that some teams are better off than others heading into spring training. Here is what each team is thinking heading into the new season (with lots of, let’s say, artistic license). So, where’s your team?

American League East

Baltimore Orioles– If we can finish within 25 games of the division lead, the guys should be proud.

Boston Red Sox– Order your ALCS Champions merchandise off the team website now!

New York Yankees– With that new contract, Derek better be able to pitch…

Tampa Bay Rays– Hey Boston, we have Manny and Damon…five years too late? Seriously?

Toronto Blue Jays– If only the season ended in July…

American League Central

Chicago White Sox– All aboard! Hopefully the Ozzie train doesn’t derail this year. Cruza los dedos!

Cleveland Indians– Best minor league system in the majors…2013 is going to be our year!

Detroit Tigers– What does our city know about luxury, huh? With an expected payroll up from $115 million last year, more than most. Hopefully it translates into more wins. 

Kansas City Royals– Come back, Zach Grienke!

Minnesota Twins– This is the year that we finally make it past the ALDS. In Mauer we trust.

American League West

Los Angeles Angels– No more Cliff Lee, no more Cliff Lee, no more Cliff Lee! We think we’re gonna like this season…

Oakland Athletics– We better start winning this season, because the “we’re young, but talented” argument won’t go over too well with management a second time…

Seattle Mariners– Home of AL Cy Young winner Felix Hernandez…and that’s about it.

Texas Rangers– No more Cliff Lee, and an angry Michael Young? We don’t think we’re gonna like this season…

National League East

Atlanta Braves– We’re cool with being the trendy pick to make it to the World Series…

Florida Marlins– Finally…our last season playing at Sun Life Stadium in front of 19,000 fans.

New York Mets– We have more problems than a Bernie Madoff victim…ironic.

Philadelphia Phillies– Our fourth starter is a former World Series MVP. Boom.

Washington Nationals– Refer to Baltimore Orioles for our team goal.

National League Central

Chicago Cubs– Each win last year cost us approximately $1,954,786.66.

Cincinnati Reds– So, we’re the favorites to win the division, right?

Houston Astros– Don’t tell anyone this, but Pittsburgh really does make us feel better about ourselves.

Milwaulkee Brewers– We’ve got our best pitching rotation since 2008. Look out Cincinnati!

Pittsburgh Pirates– We know it looks like we’re trying not to win, but you have to believe us; we’re in it to win it.

St. Louis Cardinals– $30 million a year for 10 years? Who do we look like…the Cubs?

National League West

Arizona Diamondbacks– With all due respect Mr. Hall, a humidor probably would have done more good than our offseason moves…

Colorado Rockies– We’re really starting to get sick of hearing “Who could be this year’s Colorado Rockies”…

Los Angeles Dodgers– So, we’re not the favorite? It just feels so weird…

San Diego Padres– If you don’t recognize half our lineup on Opening Day, that’s okay…neither do we.

San Fransisco Giants– 2010 World Series Champs, baby!

– K. Becks

3 Responses to Spring Training: Where’s Your Team?

  1. mancolepig on February 16, 2011 at 4:46 am

    haha This is one of your funnier articles for sure. But Kyle, which team provides the best atmosphere and announcer for napping?

  2. Cheap Laptop Battery on February 16, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    Just wanted to make sure to thank Pujols for making sure that his contract will NOT be a distraction this year.

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